The UN Appoints Ambassador To Aliens; ID4 Is Imminent

Last week, the United Nations finally stepped and recognized the obvious: extraterrestrials were going to, at some point, arrive and obliterate us. In order to work against this formality, they did humankind the favor of appointing an official United Nations ambassador to aliens. Her name is Mazlan Othman, and she is a Malaysian astrophysicist. Othman recently spoke about the obvious and forthcoming contact with more-than-likely pissed off aliens, and had the following to say.

News.com.au via io9:

The continued search for extraterrestrial communication, by several entities, sustains the hope that some day humankind will receive signals from extraterrestrials […] When we do, we should have in place a coordinated response that takes into account all the sensitivities related to the subject. The UN is a ready-made mechanism for such coordination.

My only concern is that she seems to underplay the fact that should we ever meet aliens, they’re going to want one thing only: to eradicate us from the planet and then harvest our bodies/souls/natural resources for their own profit. Hasn’t this lady indulged in any pop culture in the last twenty or so years?

The pertinent questions we should be asking are something like: Who is going to disrupt their force fields with a virus? Where are our underground bunkers going to be built? Can we have Bill Pullman prepped and ready to deliver an epic speech within moments of First contact?

Playin’ grab ass with these aliens ain’t going to happen, Ambassador Othman. At best, I predict these aliens will want to penetrate our orifices for their spiky speculums. At worst, they’re going to wear our faces as they bathe in our gamma-irradiated lakes. We gotta get real. Do some research.