Variant Covers: I’ll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours!
Oh shit! With tomorrow being Wednesday, this is your one-stop shopping center for a rundown on tomorrow’s comic book releases; Variant Covers. Ain’t it a glorious thing? Tomorrow being Wednesday and all. Wednesdays. Hump day. I don’t know how or why the good lord decided that Wednesday was the day designed for new comic book releases, but g’damn if I ain’t grateful. I mean sure I’m a graduate student and I don’t actually “work”, okay? But reading three-hundred pages of DuBois can get its grind on, you know? Got some funny books to tide me over, until the weekend. Even if them weekends don’t mean as much to us unemployed.
I’m throwing a sinking curveball today. Instead of glossing over the releases, I’m going to expose myself to you. I’m going to highlight all the titles I actually intend on buying. This is in stark contrast to my decided efforts on the occasion to give love to things I’m not really feeling out of charity. Or more likely, recognition of my own poor taste. But this shit is the real deal, the titles I’m snaggin’ with a shit-eating grin tomorrow. And in case you’re wondering? Shit is delicious.
Hit the comments box with your own pull-list. We’ll compare sizes and quality. Maybe even girth.
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Northlanders #32
Brian Wood is fucking awesome. Do enough comic book fans recognize this? I’m not sure. After expressing my concerns to my brother, I was reassured that he’s respected within the walls of Geekdom. I fucking hope so, man. I really do. He isn’t penning Uncanny X-Factor: Fucking & Punching or anything for the Two Juggernauts, and because of that I’m hoping the chap gets the buzz anyways. Since I don’t troll forums or communicate with the inner workings of my nerd brethren, I’m not sure.
But this I do know, again. Brian Wood is fucking awesome. If you need proof, you’re going to read Northlanders #32 this week. Part three of the storyline “Metal”, it features a rampaging viking named Erik as he goes about culling the Christian population from his land while making love to a beautiful lady by the name of Ingrid in the woods. It’s a commentary on religion and power set to the tune of headwounds. Crank the Amon Amarth and get down to this shit.
[Aside: I read DMZ in collected format, but the new issue drops this week. If you’re not reading DMZ in some capacity, you’re failing. I spurn thee. Also, I’m picking up DV8: Gods and Monsters #6 by Sir Wood as well this week. After textually fellating him, I’m just folding that purchase into this post. To spare you gagging on my gagging on Wood.]
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Harlan Ellison’s Phoenix Without Ashes #2
The second issue of the comic book-adaptation of a failed television show based on an Ellison script drops this week, and I’m stoked. The first issue was pure set-up, but that’s expected out of a premiere, non? Shit was something like The Village Meets Uh Maybe Dark City Or Something. Christ, I know I’m not doing it a solid by describing it that way.
The basics: a young chap by the name of Devon lives on the world-village Cypress Corners, which is governed by a bunch of Amish-looking motherfuckers who proclaim to channel the world of the “creator’s machine”. Devon, as a bunch of similar young men, is powered by love and conviction and is like “fuck your dumb fraudulent machine”, after discovering it is all a farce. Dude is chased out of the village, and by the end of the first issue, he’s staring at an opening mechanical gape in the ground.
Sci-Fi porn featuring a critique of assuming the proclamations of the powerful to be correct? I’m there. You should be too.
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Thor: For Asgard #2
It’s a great week to be a World of Warcraft-playing dork like me. Serious fucking viking and epic overload. The second issue of Rodi and Bianchi’s look at Thor and his pretty assy attempt at ruling Asgard drops, and it’s worth buying for the artwork alone. Bianchi’s pencils are the work that nerd orgasms are made of. Good lord! Shields! And swords! And cleavage! Rendered in such splendor! Last issue concluded with Thor getting righteously cock-blocked by Mjolnir. Why hast his hammer forsaken him?
Dude’s got it rough. His Dad went out on some pilgrimage, and now he isn’t even dubbed worthy of wielding his trusty smash-mallet.
Forsooth!
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Joe the Barbarian #7
I don’t stunt, front, or even kid around about it: I want to wax Grant Morrison’s bald skull. Just do the guy a solid for all the love he’s given me by giving his dome-piece a glorious sheen. And when the authorities finally catch up to me, untie him, and send me to jail, I just hope he appreciates it. Deep down inside.
The tale of a diabetic kid being thrown into a fantasy world via shock has been equal parts touching and fantastical. As the narrative of Joe fumbling around his house looking for a soda for much needed sugar intertwines with his adventures as the Boy Who Died, the story moves towards something of beautiful horror. Is Joe going to die? I have no god damn idea. But the tale manages to punch me in the gut. It takes a lot to move me in comic books, but every issue manages to get me rockin’ goosebumps. Morrison’s story is complimented by Sean Murphy’s sprawling artwork. His cartoony style manages to convey the splendor of a adolescent’s fantasy world, and at the same time make you feel the seriousness of Joe’s situation.
I get a feeling this comic book is going to roll me down the hill and twist on my waterworks by the series’ finale.
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Miscellaneous Debris
Some miscellany that may tickle your tits: I missed the starting point of Brubaker’s mini-series Steve Rogers: Super-Soldier, and for that I affixed a groin-smack to myself and a suitable amount of self-loathing. The third of four issues drops this week, and I have a suspicion that it is as awesome as it seems. Furthermore, the fourth issue of Bulletproof Coffin drops, and if you can find the title, hats off to you. Me? I gave up trying to hunt it down a while ago, and I’m patiently waiting for a TPB of it.
Budget-based culling has pushed me to dropping Astonishing Wolverine & Spider-Man, which I felt was somewhere between “eh” and “meh”, respectively. If you can afford it, it’s worth your ten minutes, as the third issue comes out this week. And there’s the entire DC line-up this week, which predictably doesn’t interest me because I’m an asshole.
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That’s what I’m snagging tomorrow. What are you fellow foolish mortals indulging in?
That’s what I’m snagging tomorrow. What are you fellow foolish mortals indulging in?