When Lamps Attack; They’re Homicidal, Man!
As you may or may not know, Pepsibones and I live under the same roof. The result is a lot of absurd conversations, and oodles of wasted time.
Today as I was trying to pump out Press Start!, the Bones was in my room. I walked out for a moment to throw away a Diet Mountain Dew bottle. As I returned, he was in the middle of tipping a lamp over on himself. I caught him, I was too quick for his old man bones.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked him.
“The lamp was attacking me. It was a lamp attack.” He informed me.
This is about par for the course in one of our conversations.
“What the fuck is a lamp attack?” I inquired.
“It’s when a lamp loses its mind and attacks you.”
He seemed deadly serious.
He then proceeded to insist on showing me what it looks like when a lamp attacks a person. As you can see, it is not pretty in the least. Watch out for the lamps, yo. They’re eying you.