Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch Gets A Trailer; I Get A Slushy Groin

I had only read about Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch prior to this trailer. And still smarting that he took (what I consider to be) a big fat Frat Boy Shit on Watchmen, I didn’t really want to give it much of a look. But now I have seen the trailer, and I think I have been altered for the better/worse.

Returning to where I think it makes sense for him to stay, Sucker Punch looks like the retarded nocturnal emission of a mentally-challenged 16 year-old who plays too much World of Warcraft and drinks too much Mountain Dew. It’s hyper-erotic-violence featuring chicks in short skirts and giant robotic samurai ninjas. It’s like the product of some dude stuck in arrested development, who has been snorting pixie sticks laced with crushed viagra, who then smokes weed and watches 300 and Kill Bill back to back.

In other words, it channels a vibe that speaks to a very, very large part of me, that only through an immense amount of anti-psychotics and self-control have I managed to partially contain.

Also, it’s got Jon fucking Hamm in it. In other words, my homo-crush, and if I could turn my feelings for him into dollar bills, I could buy at least three-hundred-million Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.

Hit the jump and check out the trailer. If your response is “this is the most juvenile piece of video-game pop-slush bullshit I have ever seen, designed for underdeveloped horndogs”, my response is “Yes. I can’t wait.