On Supermarkets And Menstrual Cycles

Yesterday, in the white-noise factory of whirling cooling systems, soccer moms with fupas and shitty super-processed hair styles. In the dome of monotony of shining packages with clamoring advertising lines. I scour the many sexy packages that call to me, my childish mentality consistently amused by their saccharin and bright plastic lights. Spying some tampons, I come across a brilliant, cost-cutting and effective idea in the rotting walls of my skull-mush.

Caffeine Powered: …If I was a girl, I think I’d use a shamwow for my periods. Just wring that shit out at the end of the night.

Lady Caffeine: Oh my god.

I’m not going to brag, but I think I’m on to something brilliant for these recession-laden times.