Friday Brew Review – Mayflower Porter
I’ve often wondered if I could survive with no other liquid than beer. Usually, these deep thoughts come after I’ve had about six or seven. I just think about beer’s amazing flavor, and its ability to make me feel like a hero, and how funny it makes everything seem. Even shit I shouldn’t be laughing at. Ah, if I could drink beer all the time then I might experience actual heaven on earth!
But lo and behold, there is no heaven at all! And, there might not even be an earth! What the fuck does that mean? I DON’T KNOW!
Anyways, I’ve studied a little bit of historicity in my time. Looking through my secret files, I’ve re-remembered that some motherfuckers have survived by drinking beer. In fact, alcohol-soda was the only saving grace for these champions, these brave souls tasked with surviving an unimaginable struggle. These heroes were confined to a vessel of questionable quality, hoping not to die as they searched for a new home.
No, no, no — not these heroes! I’m talking about the motherfucking Pilgrims!
Yeah, the same folks that brought us the first Thanksgiving and helped colonize Massachusetts were only able to do so because of beer. Stuck aboard the Mayflower from September to November of 1620, the only thirst-quencher readily available was weak beer. I’m not sure if it was Natty Ice or Corona, but it served its purpose. The Pilgrims were able to keep their palates moist, they stayed merry despite watching peers die, and they crashed into Plymouth Rock like fucking gangsters.
In fact, some have even suggested that the Pilgrims only stopped at Plymouth because they ran out of beer.
The Mayflower Brewing Company has summoned the spirit of this landmark voyage to help them craft quality lagers. In fact, a direct line of ancestry can be traced, as described on brewery’s website:
Mayflower Brewing Company is a craft beer microbrewery located in historic Plymouth, Massachusetts. Founded in 2007 by a tenth great grandson of John Alden, beer barrel cooper on board the Mayflower, we are dedicated to celebrating the history and legacy of the Pilgrims by creating unique, high-quality ales for the New England market.
The legitimacy of these seemingly tenuous connections was reinforced a quotation found on the bottles themselves. William Bradford spoke,
“We could not now take time for further search of consideration, our victuals being much spent, especially out beer.”
As a fan of darker potables, I decided to make my first foray into the Mayflower Brewing Company’s history-laced wonder-world their Mayflower Porter. It is described as being “smooth and full-flavored with notes of roasted coffee beans and bittersweet chocolate that will warm the palate all year long.” Sold.
As the Mayflower Porter was dispensed into its glass a thick, luscious head of foam was formed. It was a tan color and just begged to be consumed. I practically choked as I tried to breathe in the foam, but it was a delicious experience; essentially, it a sort of alcohol analog of a cappuccino. I exaggerate, but you get the point.
Digging deeper, a whiff of smoky goodness kissed me on the chin. As it made its way to my lips I knew that the brew was going to be positively bittersweet (and I mean that in the least figurative way possible). Sipping on the liquid, I get a lot of bitter sensations dancing on my tongue — but this ain’t black coffee and there is a hint of sweetness.
In a way, Mayflower Porter reminds me roasted almonds — there is an ever-so detectable burnt quality enveloping an otherwise sweet treat. Also, I think there may be a saltiness present. Actually, I’ve grabbed a handful of almonds to further test the analogy and I think it holds water.
The other point of interest is the beer’s drinkability. Unlike the seawater that some passengers aboard the Mayflower tried to chug, this porter goes down nice and easy. In addition to the light texture, the 5.5% ABV makes the concoction more likely to be revisited time and again within a single night. Call me crazy, but I think I’d like to use this black beauty as a marinade for barbecue.
Can I say that Mayflower Porter is what most people crave on a summer’s eve? No, not in good conscience. But I don’t think the four of you that read this weekly ramblefest are the typical bung-bungs. And as I sit here, watching Punch-Drunk Love with an open window, I can’t help but think you’d have a good time here too.
Mayflower Porter: A-