This Is The Child Molester Who Programs For Omega Level

Pepsibones and I handle the writing and production of slop for Omega Level. But both of us being incapable of doing anything more than producing empty sentences and similes involving bodily functions, we’ve relied on a good friend to do all the programming and graphical production for the site.

After growing an impressive beard over the winter that likened him to the Italian equivalent of Osama Bin Laden, he constructed this masterpiece on his face over the weekend. It was too tremendous to not save for posterity’s sake.

Don’t let his soft smile trick you, he’s just trying to lull your defenses. There’s a caged animal within, looking to kidnap your children and befoul your Mom.

I cajoled him into throwing his modesty away and striking a thunderous pose, that likes of which displays the numerous rippling muscles he will use to scale your house, throw your mother (or father depending on his whims that night) over his shoulder, and much like King Kong, run away into the night to commit treachery upon your friendship.