Monday Morning Commute: Peter North Has Replica Penises

Oh shit yeah! What the fuck is up, ya’ll! Happy President’s Day! For those outside the Empire, it’s basically a meaningless holiday. Like every other holiday, we Americans just use it as an excuse to draw people into centers of merchandise through the allure of sales based on the holiday. It’s pretty cool though, because I just bought myself a replica of Peter North’s cock. JK! Though, I’m actually impressed but not shocked that one exists. I wrote the previous sentence without verifying that it was real.

Oh, internet, you never ever fail me!

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

Watching / The Hurt Locker

It’s worth nothing that The Hurt Locker is one of my favorite movies in a long fucking time. I watched it a couple of weeks ago, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind since. If you’re like me, and didn’t get to see it in the theaters because you’re an idiot and only see pop-slop explosion movies, go rent this shit. It’s value lies primarily in the tension that permeates the entire movie. Do you remember how intense The Dark Knight was when they were transporting Dent? The entire movie is the same sort of white-knuckle insanity.

Underlying it all is an examination of the toll of having your life on the line everyday while in the army, and the value you begin to place on various things due to it.

Also? It’s got impressive explosions.

Reading / Infoquake, David Louis Edelman

I’ve been wanting to read Infoquake like woah since I came across a review of it at Mishka Bloglin. The reviewer sold me with:

This book is equal parts Liberation: and Snow Crash. With maybe a slight dash of Neuromancer. Maybe.

I’m a sucker for cyberpunk, post-cyberfunk, and anything that is an off-shoot or derivative of said genres. Also, Snow Crash is one of my favorite books of all time, so the aforementioned quote translates to something like “If you like your favorite things, you’ll like it.”

After being pissed off that I couldn’t find it at Barnes and Noble, I manned up and ordered it through their website. While I wanted to spurn their asses for not carrying quality books in their stores, I recalled that I won a gift card for B&N in a vicious game of Yankee Swap back on Christmas Day. Yeah, fuck you and your Patriots’ t-shirt, I want the book fake-money! Now to be outdone, I expedited that shit! It’ll be here soon, and I plan on pushing anything I was intending to read off to the side until I rip through it with the ferocity of an unhappy Ares.

Playing / Bioshock 2

It’s taking every fiber of self-discipline I have to not buy Bioshock 2. Like, seriously. Self-discipline is up there with Not Leaving Crumbs as two of the skills I will probably never master. And usually, the two collide. Like, when I eat an entire box of Chez-Its while drifting off to sleep in my bed as I watch NHL On The Fly. Then I wake up covered in crumbs, and I contemplate the fact that I’m never going to be able to get away with this the day My Beautiful But OCD Girlfriend lets me into her home.

So, self-discipline? Yeah, I don’t know how I’m pulling it off. Bioshock is one of my favorite games of the decade, and its sequel is just sitting on shelves asking me to consume it. I don’t think a sequel was needed, and that is one of the things I keep repeating to myself when I stare longingly through the glass at it in Target. That, and I have fourteen games I haven’t finished yet.

I know myself though, and I know that by the entire of the week I’ll be rapturously within Rapture. It’s only a matter of time.

—

What are you guys up to this week?