Mass Effect 2 DLC Makes You Suck the Doctor

Here’s the thing. Despite some of my disappointment regarding Mass Effect 2, I am woefully addicted to it. And here’s another thing, I’m a fucking asshole. So when I heard that you could get DLC for Mass Effect 2 from cups at 7-Eleven, I knew I had to buy them. It was some team-up with Dr. Pepper, or something, or something. I have no idea. They’re just shitty helmets or something, but it didn’t matter. Because I’m an asshole. And the worst part is, I am so against getting nickle and dimed like this, and yet I give into it.

There’s a code per cup, and I needed like, obviously, all of them. I contemplated triple-stacking a cup, and passing it off as one Double Gulp of the Diet Pepsi. You know, Lil’ Wayne style, screwed-up on two-cups. But then the better, God-fearing side of me kicked in. I walked up to the counter and I asked the guy, can I buy a cup? He nodded his head and smiled. For some reason, I tried to explain to him why I was an asshole.

Yeah, I play this video game [not explaining what game] and they’ve got codes.

He smiled. I’m sure he had no idea what he was talking about. I left the store victorious.

I’m an asshole.