Monday Morning Commute: Scaling Summits With Mass Erections
It isn’t so much that I’m completely enamored with Zooey Deschanel, so much as the fact that when I look at her, her Indie Chick Goddess-ness burns a feeling of deep lack of worth in my soul. I want to write witty articles for a fansize to show her, and maybe pretend to listen to crappy bands who write about esoteric things and love. As opposed to my crappy esoteric bands that write about vikings and death.
Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide
Playing / Mass Effect 2
In little over three hours I will be returning home with Mass Effect 2 in my sweaty, fanboy claws. I will be perspiring and hyperventilating, contemplating the enormity of the task ahead. Which is to try and play Mass Effect 2 until I am on the brink of death, then sleep for but a wink, go to school, and continue on with my march.
I can’t believe this shit is coming out. I hide away from previews, and reviews, and until I say some advertisements last week, I couldn’t believe that this title was so close to being in my dungeon, flung into my 360’s awaiting slit.
Listening / Scale the Summit, Carving Desert Canyons
The first time I hard Scale the Summit, I was like what the hell is this nerd progressive instrumental bullshit. Then I kept listening to it. Then I was like, this shit is boring! Then I kept listening to it! Then I was like, man, I guess there’s nothing else worth listening to. Then I kept listening to it!
Scale the Summit seem pretty cool, if not a bit forgettable sometimes. They’re for geeks like me who dig impressive guitar work, odd time signatures, and have secretly masturbated to a picture of John Petrucci.
Watching / Daybreakers
I saw Daybreakers Saturday night, and as a fan of shitty movies, man was this movie a fucking turd. If you’re not completely exhausted with allegories vomiting about the exploitation of natural resources by fat lazy Americans from the Avatar phenomenon, this will definitely push you over the edge.
As I watched the movie, I tried to remember when I thought Ethan Hawke was cool, but it seems like a million years ago, in a different world. I kept thinking maybe Daybreakers could step it up and I’d be pleasantly surprised. Naw, kid. It’s filled with drivel, which I should have expected, shitty acting, which I should have expected, and no hot ass vampires, which I actually thought would be there.
What the fuck, Hawke! You gave me GATTACA. That movie was totally cool. Now you look bloated and run around shooting vampires.
A pox on you!