Remember That Time On LOST When: Boone Banged His Sister?

[Remember That Time On LOST is a daily post running the entire month up until the season premiere of LOST on February 2nd. I’m going to just pick something awesome, noteworthy, or ludicrous about LOST when I wake up that morning, and hopefully get you geeks talking about it with me.]

One of the forgotten things about LOST was the really interesting moral dilemma they brought up back in Season One. What moral dilemma, you ask? Well, it’s no other than this: when is it cool to make the sexual intercourse time with your sister? Yeah, I know. It’s a tricky, tricky situation. Boone banged the hell out of his hot sister, Shannon. It all happened off screen, but I’ve read some fan fiction, and while it isn’t exactly canonical, it’s pretty hawt, trust me.

Let’s examine the situation here. Boone’s mom and Shannon’s dad got married when the two will-be-awkward-lovers were just kids. Already, I mean, they aren’t bursting out of the same wombs! And furthermore, they don’t have the same last names! Boone Carlyle, Shannon Rutherford. I mean, you wouldn’t even know they’re quasi-related, just from being introduced to them!

Continuing, there’s also the fact that Shannon’s dad is totally pushing daisies. That’s right people looking for reasons that their behavior as acceptable, Mr. Rutherford is fucking mortis, man.

So they’re not blood-related, and the union that made them even tenuously related has been severed. By death. Never to be rekindled, unless Boone’s mom is a necrophiliac. Which would be pretty interesting, but I doubt that they’re going to delve into that in the finale season since they’ll be busy answering and not answering everything.

LOST is a smart show, man. What an interesting question they pose to the viewer: are you ashamed or completely okay with the burning sensation of love and the terse nature of your underloins as they become engorged with blood when you see Boone and Shannon make out in some dingy Australian hotel room? And as an aside, it is so obvious they didn’t film the episode in Australia, there’s not one fucking kangaroo in the shot! I’ve been to Outback Steakhouse, I know Australia. They should have ponied up the cash for it. Cheap bastards.

Me? I’m okay with it! It is a bit awkward, since you know that they pretended to be brother and sister for a while. But I mean, come on! I appreciate the issue you have raised, LOST writers, but it seems quite obvious. Two siblings, only by marriage, after the marriage has been destroyed by the scythe of the Reaper, are completely okay to bone. I mean, stop being such prudes! This is 2010. There are people painting each other in fluids on the internet, and we’re going to get up in airs about this? Oh puh-lease!

Let the two love birds have their fun. Of course, after they finally make sweet, sort of bizarre love, Shannon tells him that they’re going to just pretend like it didn’t happen when they get home. What a bitch she is, even if she is probably being properly practical. I mean, as much as I am for free love and shit, they can’t really thrive in a world that isn’t filled with liberal, lawless, godless heathens like me.

“Oh yeah, this is my wife. How did we meet? Well, we were taking baths together before our pubic regions had been activated by the Hand of Hormones. Yeah, step-siblings. And then, like, her Dad died, and we were both lonely, and here we are! What do you mean stay away from your children? Don’t fucking judge us! Love knows no bounds, and laughs at conceptions perpetuated by contemporary social power structures!”

Boone and Shannon’s screwing was a pretty good picture of what LOST was in Season One. As Pepsibones Krueger pointed out while talking to me, “At that point the show was a drama exploring people’s lives, with a little Sci-Fi thrown in”, which sums it up better than I could have. It’s interesting to see an episode like this, where it is centered around Boone and his incestuous Messiah Complex. Which makes me wonder, can it be a Messiah Complex when the whole reason you’re saving that person is because you were smuggling panties out of their bedroom when you were thirteen and confused?

I’m not sure.

But I mean, what were these two characters around for? Every one else on the show seems to hold some sort of amazing, important connection to the Island and they were like beckoned there by the hand of Jacob or whatever. These two? Who the fuck knows. Did they die because they weren’t important? Or were they never made important in future episodes because they were killed off? Or more than likely, were the writers just wanting to write an episode with a sweet ass moral dilemma?