Square Enix Ships A Zillion Copies of FFXIII; I Resent Japanese Gamers

Final Fantasy XIII comes out the 17th in Japan. In preparation for that shit, Square Enix has shipped a million copies. I’m fucking miserable. I used to be excited about all the FFXIII news. I was like, hey, that means this shit is real! But now I’m about to go into my typical ball of hateful resentment that knows no bounds of jealousy and impropriety. Fuck you, Japanese gamers! I need this shit. At a cellular level, I will not be complete until this ship comes out over here. And I guarantee that not one of you will enjoy it as much as me!

How do I know?

Fuck you!

And fuck you Square Enix! Would it really chap your ass to get on the fucking simultaneous release boat? Simultaneous releases are fucking awesome! In every sense of the word! And I refuse to acknowledge that they are mythical in both the video game realm as well as the bedroom! One can dream! My small penis, my PS3, and my idealism yearn for a day. A day of simultaneous release.