Bayonetta Cosplay Winner Looks Depressingly Like Average Chick With Crappy Jeans

This is not the cosplay winner.

Yeah, it’s been like a fucking week since I mentioned Bayonetta. What the hell is going on? I fucked up. I’m sorry. Okay?

I wish I could have been brought back to one of my favorite subjects with good news. Nope. Recently Sega announced the winner of the contest they ran in conjunction with Maxim to find their Bayonetta lookalike winner. She sucks. It’s insulting. Peep it:

Uhhhhhh. What the fuck is going on here? This is the winner? It’s just a decent looking chick with a crappy tan and glasses holding a gun. I think she’s wearing shitty Jnco jeans from Hot Topic too. Seriously Maxim? What the fuck. I thought this was a contest that was going to find a Bayonetta, not a babe with glasses.

I don’t blame the winner, she applied, she gave a half-ass effort, and she win. Good for you. I like your glasses, and if you were in a pornographic film, I would enjoy you. But you are not my Bayonetta.

YOU ARE NOT MY BAYONETTA.

I should have dressed up. Fuck.