Monday Morning Commute: Are You Ready for Some Machine Gun Shells?

That lumbering drone you hear emanating from the hills is the bone-crunching soul smasher that is the new installment of the Modern Warfare franchise ready to fucking rock. Activision, between owning Blizzard and Infinity Ward, is probably close to building their moon laser or some crazy shit.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

Like probably every other gamer in the world this week, I’ll be playing myself some Modern Warfare 2 this week. It’s cool that I have twelve other games that I’ve barely delved into. They all get rocked with the PAUSE   button for a bit. I don’t want other gamers to look at me and think that I’m a lamer – I need to be playing this, or otherwise I’m just another jobber.

I wish I could impress on people how fucking awful I am at first-person shooter games. I was raised on a steady diet of platformers and action games. I can catch a zillion rings in Sonic while going at light-speed, or navigate some seriously wall-climbing shit with Rachet or Jak or Mario. But pwning nubs with like, you know, a totally impressive gun?

I blow.

I’m not sure if I’m capable of upgrading my skills to any measure of proficiency, but one can hope.

I’m still listening to Between the Buried and Me‘s album The Great Misdirect ad nauseum.

If you’re not watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, then you are depriving yourself of something truly awesome/awful. It’s the first thing I like to rock on my DVR every week with Blondie McGorgeous. And if you want to see how lame I am, I generally enjoy watching America’s Next Top Model secondly. Shit’s getting fucking intense! Next week two people are getting eliminated! Holy fucking shit! Seriously though, watch Always Sunny. I’d say it may offend your sensibilities, but you read this fucking site. How can you be offended by…anything if you’re still here?

I have thirty pages left before I’m done reading The Brothers Karamzov. I think it’s the first book I’ve read in a long time where finishing it can actually be counted as an “accomplishment”. Go fucking me! When I’m done I should count the amount of pages I’ve dog eared and passages underlined. If you want to take on a dense tome of illumination, I point you in this direction. If you’re scared by miniscule text and enormity, stay the fuck away. Nosebleeds may occur.

What are you fucks doing this week?