Friday Brew Review – Brown’s Oatmeal Stout

Before I even start tearing into this week’s brew review, I have to pause a moment to issue a statement of gratitude. Without the assistance of my good buddy Riff-Daddy, this week’s entry would never have been possible. Riff-Daddy took it upon himself to drive all the way to Troy, New York just to pick up a six-pack for me. He totally wasn’t there anyways to visit his girlfriend. He told me that he was just sitting around in his underwear watching episodes of Charles in Charge and he thought, “Damn, I should drive four hours each-way to help out Pepsibones.”

So it is with the utmost sincerity that I thank you, Riff-Daddy. You’re a good guy. I love you.

Ok, transitioning away from traces of homoeroticism and into a beer review…This week sees me guzzling Oatmeal Stout from Brown’s Brewing Company. I first encountered this brand when Riff-Daddy and I, on our way to a concert, stopped into their signature taproom in Troy. Their drafts nearly blew my shoes off. Seriously, if I hadn’t made sure to securely fasten the Velcro straps I would’ve been in big, big trouble.

So the prospect of sampling the Oatmeal Stout was nothing short promising. Before pouring the liquid-fun into my gut-tank, I made a point to read the bottle’s label. Brown’s Brewing Company describes their Oatmeal Stout as such:

Smooth, silky, and rich….We handcraft every batch using two-role pale, black, caramel and chocolate malts. Willamette hops and a heapin’ helping of flaked rolled oats.

I poured the first bottle into a glass and held it up to the light on my ceiling. “Holy Sasquatch,” I whispered to myself, “no light is getting through.” When I tipped the wide end of the glass into my gullet, I was expecting a dark lager of monumental proportions.

Not quite the case. In reality, it seems as though I had crafted some unfair expectations. After all, my all-time favorite alcoholic beverage is Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout. Maybe I should’ve went into this taste test without any ideas of what I was getting into — whereas I anticipated a fluid that would settle in my pasta-pot like concrete, Oatmeal Stout actually went down with exceptional ease.

Perhaps I should have just trusted Brown’s aforementioned description. The stout truly is smooth, silky, and rich. If caramel flavored coffee was cold, carbonated and could make you feel really good, it would be comparable to Brown’s Oatmeal Stout.

I’m not going to dock this beverage points because I wanted it to be something it isn’t. Like a father realizing that his son is gay and still really cool, I’m holding Oatmeal Stout close and murmuring, “Hey, it’s okay. You’re awesome.”

Brown’s Brewing Company, it is my pleasure to give your Oatmeal Stout a B+.