Chris Brown’s New Single Leaked to OL

Ah, Saturdays. Slow days for Omega Level. Thankfully, I have a crew of intrepid spies who work for me overtime. And I was surprised today when I came across an e-mail in my in-box. The title was “Chris Brown’s New Song Confirms He IS A Flesh-Eating Zombie.” Weird, right? And then I heard it, and well…it’s disturbing. Let’s just put it that way. Confused, I sent off an e-mail to Brown’s PR Manager. Yeah, I got the mad connections. I received an e-mail explaining the suspicious new song:

You see, we realize that a lot of sensitive people may be upset about the fact that Chris Brown is a piece of filth. And in order to combat the knowledge that he is a woman-beating, flesh-eating monster, we could only do one thing. Try and make eating people cool.

Well, that explains it. I’m not at liberty to leak the actual .mp3, but I can tell you the title: Lemme Bite Chu. That’s right, Lemme Bite Chu. And I could get in a lot of trouble, but I’m even going to give you the chorus to the song:

[auto-tune]

Lemme bite chu

Lemme Lemme bite chu

Lemme bite chu

Lemme Lemme bite chu

C’mon baby it just some flesh

Lemme bite chu

OooOoo

Lemme bite chu

Lemme Lemme bite chu[x3]

Well, there you have it. Probably going to go platinum in this world where monsters run free and Michael Jackson molests boys and then gets Global Tribute Concerts. You heard it here first!