Blizzard Adds Monks to Diablo 3, FFT and Diablo 1 Nerds Circle Jerk

Blizz all up and announced today at Blizzcon that goons and dweebs like me are going to have the option of playing a Monk in Diablo 3 today. At first I didn’t know what to think. I made a living off of imagining that my female amazon in Diablo 2 was in fact some sort of transfigured Legolas. I spent hours pew-pewing cows and Mephisto and being all like THIS IS TOTALLY LIKE LORD OF THE RINGS WHERE LEGOLAS LOOKS AWESOME.

So when the new class wasn’t some sort of hunter-gatherer, big-breasted or not, I was bummed. But don’t fucking lament, yo! The Monk class looks pretty absurd. Depending on your nerdcorner du jour, you can either imagine you’re The Last Airbender, or Fist of the Northstar, or the epicenter of my early teen wet dreams: Tifa Lochhart. Check out the video, where you can froth over the kinetic ass-whupping of the monk. Then remember you won’t be playing this until your great-grandchildren are losing their baby teeth.